Breastfighting, I mean feeding...

Yesterday we went to Dr. Vargas (Maryjayne's pediatrician). I was concerned because after 3 months she still has not figured out to do when presented with my breast. I mean come on girl, its not coming on a silver platter!
Our breastfeeding goes like this:
Maryjayne begins sucking on my tee-shirt,
I present her with the opportunity to eat from me,
she looks at me, looks at my breast,
screams hysterically,
I calm her down,
repeat presentation,
repeat hysterics,
I find a grandparent to hold her,
hook up to my pump,
pump 30 minutes,
dump into bottle careful not to spill (imagine doing this sleep deprived at 3 in the am),
then she eats from the bottle.

To say this is getting tiring is an understatement. At times my dedication to breast milk is tested... Especially at 3 in the morning!

You may be wondering if yall wanted to breastfeed WHY didn't you get help in the hospital. Well, the hospital was not that into breastfeeding, I had to bring in an outside advocate to even be allowed to breastfeed. I caught nurses giving Similac when my pumped milk was in the fridge. I was told that for me to want her to breastfeed so badly was "selfish". I NOW know all this not to be true and repeatedly my supporters kept telling me that I WAS in fact fighting the good fight and fighting for my daughter. But it has been an exhausting journey, to then have my daughter "reject me". I know she needs to learn to eat from them and that my breast provide food and comfort not just terror and stress. That is why I finally turned to her doctor. (Side note this was not her doctor in the hospital Dr. Vargas does not work with Arrowhead and I don't blame him!) Dr. Vargas believes Maryjaynes GERD is worse when she receives the little bit of formula she does get (my milk production is stalling with no human latch on and only pumping). And is suppose to be sending us to a lactation "specialist". Wish us luck! BY the way she is weighing in at 9lbs 2 oz and is 21 inches tall.

Yesterday was ALSO Ash Wednesday and MJ got her first ashes! It was very special and fun to share this with my daughter... now if only I could get her to give up the bottle for LENT!

Today PopPops nap happend to be at the same time as MJ's today so she got some co-sleeping cuddle time with him... (with Granmama hovering near bye while Mommy got some work done)